Hell Phone

Last week I had to get a new cell phone. Mine couldn’t remember who I was, locked me out and demanded I take it to AT&T (No joke).

We (me, baby & delusional phone) go to the AT&T store where I thrust my phone at a rep and say, “Fix this.”

She smiles, “I can probably fix this for ya. Usually they just need a new SIM card and they’re back to normal.”

[USUALLY?? AT&T has a lot of phones that suddenly develop aversions to their owners?]

She opens my phone and notices the “liquid damage indicator” is red. (ACK!) I panic. If I damaged my phone insurance won’t cover it and I’ll be making monthly payments on NOTHING.

Then I panic: “Will I lose my pictures?”

(I have a very photogenic baby.)

Rep says, “No. The pictures are stored in the phone unless you have a memory card.”

I have no memory card. Maybe that’s why the phone doesn’t remember me?)

New SIM card is in place and my phone demands the password (which I know). Then it demands some other password I’ve never heard of (which I don’t know) and says it wants to go to AT&T. Rep says, “Let me put in my SIM card from my phone and we’ll see if it’s a faulty SIM card or if it’s the phone.”

(Repeat steps 1-3 with same result.)

Rep stares at my phone. “Huh.”

“Let me call Customer Service.”

Swell.

Customer Service listens, takes info while I move away from the desk to play with my adorable baby (see pic above). Five minutes later (!!) I ask Rep what’s going on.

“She transferred me to Tech Support.”

Oh shit.

Tech Support listens to tale of woe and Rep’s snide, “…and there’s water damage” while I sigh, roll my eyes, and wonder where I’m getting money to buy a new phone that won’t have Alzheimer’s Disease.

Rep hangs up saying, “We’ll have to call the insurance company.”

I try not to faint.

She relays info, tale of woe and water damage (damn her!) and hangs up. (Apparently insurance company is used to psycho AT&T phones.)

“They overnight phones so I wouldn’t be surprised if you had it tomorrow.”

The voice in my head starts singing, “I’m gettin’ a new phone, I’m gettin’ a new phone” and doing the banana dance. Then, realization dawns.

I just lost my photos. And my games. And my ringtones. And the couple of songs I had. Rep gives me ten dollar credit to make up for losses. Ten dollars. TEN.

Whoop-de-freakin’-doo!

Rep also tells me if my phone ever mentions that password again to “drop everything and come right down here.”

What the hell?

Later, Matt wonders just what the hell I do while he’s at work and asks, “So how’d your phone get water damage?”

“The other day I defrosted chicken for dinner and I accidentally set it in a puddle of chicken juice…”

(Matt rolls his eyes, sorry he asked.)

“…so it had LIQUID damage…”

“…and also salmonella.”

 

*********************************************************************************

UPDATE 02/22/10: *sigh*  I got my hell phone bill in the mail today.  Instead of the usual >$75 (is that less than??) it also included the $50 deductable that no one mentioned when I went through the replacement process so I didn’t think I had to pay.  AND, it also includes the $21 I spent on games for the new phone since I lost all mine.

SO.  Instead of my regular bill, it’s DOUBLE this month.

Holy Hell.

 

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4 thoughts on “Hell Phone

  1. SO glad you can blog now, even if you lost precious things on phone. Look at it this way: cell phone pix are really new. We were all raised w/out them & came out OK & i'll bet you have tons more photos of AB (Adorable Baby) than your parents had of you, what with digital everything.Love your post.

    Like

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