My Way or the EASY Way (Condensation revisited)

I just look around sometimes and realize I’m doing everything the hard way.


We don’t have a table and chair thing going. Mainly because our apartment is set up so weird. They have a room for the dining room with open space into the room for the living room. That means the living room has 3 walls: wall one – long uninterrupted wall with cable for tv; wall two – long wall with huge window almost to floor faces the street (and fire escape); wall three – wall with door to balcony right in the middle.

Soooo…to use the tv cable you’d have to put your couch on the opposite wall…which is the one with the door in the middle. Couch doesn’t fit. (Awesome.) You could move the tv to the wall with the window, but you’re advertising to the street that HEY THESE ARE OUR ELECTRONICS, COME ON IN!

Um. NO.

So, what we did (and it’s working for us) is put our tv, couch and loveseat into the dining room (also had tv cable??) which is carpeted anyway. WHO HAS CARPET IN THE DINING ROOM? No one with children should. BTDT. And the would-be living room with odd assortment of door and window is now the office. Works great. Except we don’t have a table and chairs for traditional sit-down meals.

That was working fine for us too. Matt and I eat dinner sitting on the couch watching tv, watching Abby play.

Problem is feeding the baby. On cooperative days she will sit on my lap while I feed her with her spoon. On non-cooperative days she’s trying to grab the spoon or the bowl or the wipes or everything else she sees and I have to put her down on the floor so we don’t get food all over the furniture or carpeting.

With her on the floor, if all goes well, she’ll sit while I feed her and we’re done in minutes. If it’s one of those days, I feed, she grabs, I wipe her hand off, she crawls away, I chase her waving the spoon saying “Come on Abby, I know you’re hungry” and then I get a spoonful in her mouth while she stands up holding onto the loveseat and wipes her face on the cushions. I get a wipe while she looks at me for food. I feel bad for not having any ready and feed her another spoonful. She sits down and grabs toys while I frantically wipe the couch cushions. I take toys away and wipe them off and repeat the whole guilt thing for not having food ready when she opens her mouth. And this is lunch: feed, grab, wipe, crawl, chase, feed, stand, wipe off couch, feed, sit, grab, wipe off toys, feed, crawl, chase…. I need a nap just thinking about it.

Repeat twice a day and this is how we eat. The other eating times go better. She’s still taking bottles which wipes out breakfast and afternoon and evening snacks. She also eats puffs (cereal-like things for babies, not facial tissues) which she likes because they’re handy, she likes to grab and she can do it herself. I like them because they dissolve quickly, they don’t stain the carpet when she dumps them on the floor…which she has to do before she eats any..and they go right up the vacuum. Daily.

In the end, carpet in the living room isn’t such a good idea either.


…goes a lot like feeding her:  lay her down, put one leg in her pants, try to put the other leg in while she pulls the first leg out. hold first leg still while sticking it back in the pantleg while second leg frees itself. With first leg redressed, grab second leg while Abby tries to roll over and crawl away. Roll Abby over and attempt to be funny so she’ll look at me and not roll. Put leg one back in pants, grab leg two, roll Abby back over, hold leg. Dress leg one, roll Abby back over, make faces, put pants on leg two. Roll Abby over, put pants on leg one while singing “Banana Phone”, put leg two in pants while Abby kicks off pants and rolls over. Roll, insert, grab, laugh, make faces, insert leg two, pick up Abby while holding waistband of pants. Hug Abby with one arm while skootching her into pants and pulling them up with the other. Put Abby down, watch her crawl away. Collapse.

Matt said dressing her is like trying to dress a squid. I can’t argue.


Hopefully remembered to thaw some meat. If not, insert frozen meat into hot water in sink to thaw. Wonder what goes with said meat while checking freezer, cabinet and cupboard. Find sides. Put thawed meat into greased baking pan. Sprinkle with festive assortment of spices in all colors. Sprinkle with salt for good measure. Put in cold oven. Damn. Forgot to preheat. Decide to leave meat in longer to compensate. Check on Abby if she’s awake. (She’d be in the gated living room with toys, out of harm’s way.) Play, bottle, puffs. Return to kitchen to find pans for side dishes. Sigh heavily. Do dishes. Check Abby. Tickle, chase, distract with remaining puffs and different toys. Put sides in pans and set on low on stovetop. Check on meat. Check on Abby. Play with baby, practice walking, watch for any sign she’s going to sign at me someday. Kiss baby. Stir side dishes. Check meat. Damn, there’s no tea. Boil water for tea, open tea bags, pour sugar, check Abby. Play, kiss, throw teabags in boiling water. Stir sides, put dry dishes away, check Abby. Play, tickle, chase, kiss, puffs, pour tea in pitcher, put sugar in pitcher, stir, add cold water. Put tea in fridge. Stir sides, check meat. take meat out of oven. Dance because somehow I forgot the pan would be hot and used my bare hand. Hold hand under faucet. Swear.

Get out plates and silverware. Empty sink. Stir sides, turn off heat. Put ice cubes in cup for Matt, pour tea. Tea in fridge. Watch for car out window. Check Abby. When I see car, I put meat on plate. If cold, microwave for a few minutes. Put sides on plate. Put bread on plate. Dinner assembled and waiting on counter when he walks through the door.

**Small triumph**


In between THAT every day. EVERY day. EVERY DAY. (Okay, I feel better now.) In between all that, I’m also vacuuming the apartment, wiping down the bathroom mirror and sink, sweeping floors, picking up dirty clothes, making beds and sometimes vacuuming the apt building hallways and sweeping the stairwells.

Oh also? Writing articles, making money, talking to my sister-in-law, and bathing and getting dressed.

And yet I can’t sleep.

I’m thinking I need to condense things.


I’m all for condensation.


2 thoughts on “My Way or the EASY Way (Condensation revisited)

  1. Hey! Thanks for your emails. Funny! It might be easier to leave us a comment, unless you had a question or something…..kidding. Your post brings me back to a few years ago. Two in diapers and my oldest an out of control toddler. I seriously was close to having a break down because I was home with them for most of it. I'm just moving into the new stage. Youngest is in Kindergarten. Oldest is in third grade. Middle 1st grade. Nuts. But enjoy it as much as you can and take lots of photos and videos. Why? Because you won't remember a damn thing! It's all a blur.


  2. It's blurring now! At this rate I'll need someone to tell me who the people in the pictures and videos are.And bring me my lap robe and comfy slippers, please.


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