Have I mentioned I have a beautiful baby? Have I mentioned I’m aging? Have I mentioned all those things converge today? Well I do, I am, and they are.
Today is Abigail’s very first birthday. Okay, when she was born it was her first birthday and that one is the only one we can’t repeat. I flatly refuse to try. However, today she is an entire year older, wiser, more aware, taller, more beautiful, smarter (although she’s always been smart!), more talented, funny, endearing and loved.
People without children can never understand this all-encompassing enrapture I feel for Abby. Everything she does makes me smile. [Well, except poo…she doesn’t like that and it’s stressful for both of us. (TMI?)] When she laughs my heart sings. When she cries she is so sweet and sad that it both touches my heart and makes me smile. I love to be with her and see the world through her eyes. I love to hold her and smell her hair. I love it when I hold her and she puts her head on my shoulder and snuggles up to me. I love it when she teaches herself something new. Her little face is so determined. I can see her thinking things through and trying so hard to get her little body to do what she wants it to do. She’s so quick to pick things up. She watches her daddy and me and learns so fast. In honor of her accomplishments this year, I’m going to share them with you.
The past year Abigail has done all the normal things like learn to roll over, sit, pull herself up, stand, and toddle. She has learned (and loves) to stand in the window and watch cars and people go by. She loves to stand on the couch to look out the window behind that. She can see grass, birds, cars and if she’s lucky, DADDY on his way home. She can’t put on her shoes, but she can open the velcro to take them off and can stick the velcro together after I put them on. She understands most of what we say. You can see it on her face. She can sign a few words (and uses them appropriately), she sings, she dances, she jumps (but doesn’t leave the floor) and she knows what each of those things are. She can feed herself (not well, rofl) and will hopefully learn real words soon. Other things she can do are take the doors off the vanity in the bathroom and unroll a brand new roll of toilet paper all the way out of the bathroom and into the hall. She can work the water filter doohickey and pour water all over the kitchen floor. She can stack blocks. She’s learning to throw (thanks, Dad!) and as of two days ago she can WHISTLE.
All I do every day is keep her safe from harm and stand around with my mouth hanging open ’cause DAY-UM. She has also already drawn her first picture. (Think lightning bolts on steroids.) At this rate she’ll be ready for kindergarten in a month, graduate from high school at age 6, and have me in a retirement home at age 9.
I was prepared to love her. I had hopes as to what she would be able to do and what sort of person she would be. I was not prepared for her to exceed everything I hoped or be wonderful enough to soften my heart and make me weep just because she IS. I wasn’t prepared to feel the mix of emotions I’m feeling today. She is still my baby and always will be. She still needs me. But in this oh-so-short year since her birth she’s grown up so much.
I’m not sure my heart can stand it.
Happy birthday, poodle. Mommy loves you.