The Harder I Try

the screwed-er I get.

I keep telling myself I’m here for a reason. WHAT??????????? Gah. trying my best gets me nowhere. Not caring gets me nowhere.

So again, I’m on the verge of not having anything or anyone. Because? What the hell did I do wrong in a previous life? Haven’t I lost enough? Why bother giving me people if you’re going to take them away?

I’m so frustrated I could cry.

I’m here for a reason. If that reason was just to get the kids here then I’m done. I can go. Right? Why keep fighting and trying and going through the motions of “survival” if you don’t have anything to LIVE for. Is an existence of mere survival worth the pain of breathing everyday for the rest of my life?

I don’t even know what to wish for anymore.

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3 thoughts on “The Harder I Try

  1. Don't worry, we all feel that way at times. But, you have a purpose and a reason for being here – just ask a fortune cookie 🙂 You'll realize it and you'll know what to do. – Your twitter buddy, @cherINcary

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  2. I'm sorry you're struggling so.You can be sure your kids need you. And I certainly enjoy being one of your blogging buddies. You're so honest and straightforward, but also funny and biting. A nice combination. Hang in there.

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  3. Hang in there Elisa!! The annoyance of bad times is that you don't know how long they will last! But you have to stay positive! Things have to get better eventually! It's a challenge and it only can make you stronger.And yes, your kids need you!Sending you big hugs!!! Xxx

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