the screwed-er I get.
I keep telling myself I’m here for a reason. WHAT??????????? Gah. trying my best gets me nowhere. Not caring gets me nowhere.
So again, I’m on the verge of not having anything or anyone. Because? What the hell did I do wrong in a previous life? Haven’t I lost enough? Why bother giving me people if you’re going to take them away?
I’m so frustrated I could cry.
I’m here for a reason. If that reason was just to get the kids here then I’m done. I can go. Right? Why keep fighting and trying and going through the motions of “survival” if you don’t have anything to LIVE for. Is an existence of mere survival worth the pain of breathing everyday for the rest of my life?
I don’t even know what to wish for anymore.