“A pedestrian friendly city” (Losing the Will to Live)

11:00am: Ask Matt if we can go for walk. I meant like he and Abby did the other night after dinner — a leisurely stroll along the river.

11:44am: Matt says, “Well get dressed if you wanna go for a walk.”

11:45am: Whine because its hot outside.

12:15pm: Strolling along the river, proud of myself for handling the heat well. Admire dark tunnels and leafy underpasses and wonder at lack of mosquitoes here vs Pennsylvania.

12:25pm: We sit on a bench and discuss what a pleasant day this is and how happy we are to relax and spend time together as a family.

12:27pm: Ask how far we are from Uptown because I haven’t been “out” yet, I’m doing fine, baby is doing well, the heat isn’t as bad as I was afraid it would be.

12:28pm: We decide to walk Uptown.

12:45pm: We reach civilization and stop in to the Space and Science Center under the pretense of aqcuiring brochures about their programs so we can enjoy the air conditioning. We’re feeling a little warm.

12:50pm: After a chat with the man at the Science Center we head further Uptown to eat.

1:35pm: After lunch we wander around, look at statues and buildings, try to think up ideas for future job hunting and things to do when we’re employed and not worried about money.

2:03pm: We decide to head back. It’s a long walk, our feet are starting to hurt and we’re definitely feeling the heat.

2:04pm: Matt asks whether we want to take the bus or walk the way we came along the river. He says it’s shorter to walk. I ask how can it be shorter to walk? He said the bus will drop us at 30th street. Clueless, I say, ok, let’s walk back the way we came. He is surprised but leads us back to the river.

2:25pm: My feet hurt. I am wearing Cute Sandals of Doom. I feel blisters forming with each step. Also? It’s 15 degrees hotter than when we walked out here. The sun is bearing down on us and also reflecting off the asphalt.

2:35pm: Me: I’m not cut out for this whole thing.
Matt: What whole thing?
Me: Survival.

2:45pm: We’re sweating in places we didn’t know could sweat. We’re both getting blisters. Every 5 minutes we check on the baby and make sure she’s not overheating. Matt snaps at me that I’m the one who wanted to walk and not take the bus. Eventually we discover it was a misunderstanding. He meant that taking the bus would be a shorter walk. It’s too late now. We’re nowhere near a bus stop and halfway home.

2:50pm: I have to stop. Again. This is the third time already. I sit on a bench while Matt warns me that it will only make me more tired. I play the Fibromyalgia card saying if I don’t rest I won’t be able to move tomorrow. He says who am I kidding, I won’t be able to move tomorrow anyway. I agree, cursing Fibromyalgia.

2:57pm: I’m STILL trying to catch up to Matt and the stroller. A woman jogs past and waves at me. After she moves on a few yards I mutter curses in her general direction. I realize the previous “lack” of mosquitoes was due to us not sweating at the time.

3:07pm:  We reach our “exit” off the Riverwalk. I choose to help carry the stroller up the stairs rather than walk another 10 minutes up to a ramp. At the top of the stairs I almost throw up. The heat is killing me. My feet hurt. I can’t throw up because I have nothing to lean on. Everything is too hot to touch, nevermind support myself against while I lose my lunch. I barely make it to a gazebo at the top of the stairs to sit. Or throw up. Jury is still out.

3:09pm: Waves of nausea pass, Matt comes back (having left me to wander to the gazebo) and tells me to suck it up we’re almost home and Abby needs to go inside. I curse him mentally for playing the parent card.

3:15pm: We’re inside our apartment and I collapse on the bed and sweat, too afraid to look at what remains of my feet. Matt and Abby take a bath.

3:21pm: Matt tells me to go take a bath. I lie in cool water and fight the urge to cry.

3:30pm: I dry off and flop on the bed exhausted, sunburned and sore. I sleep until 9pm, defeated.

Yankee-0, South-1

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5 thoughts on ““A pedestrian friendly city” (Losing the Will to Live)

  1. I am telling you exactly what I told Joann. SUCK IT UP! You will get through this, and fall is just around the corner! Be proactive,Elisa! You have a wonderful man and a beautiful baby! IT WILL WORK!

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  2. Stop that snivelling! If anyone is going to snivel around here, it is going to be me! Get it? Now get busy and make a three bean salad!

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  3. Never, never, never. OMG. My nose still burns from the last time!I say we alternate days. You snivel on M, W and Fri. I get Tues, Thurs, and Sat.

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