The C Word

In honor of BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH I’m once again reposting something from the vault. Enjoy. (It’s having spacing issues.)

The C Word (originally published September 18, 2007)

I feel ill
but I am sure it is nothing
I just cannot seem to eat
and run to the bathroom
I have some pain in my tummy
but I am sure it’s a cold
or maybe the flu
Do not worry about me
It will go away

It has not gone away

I must have a bug

give me a week or two

and I’ll be as good as new

You will see

it is nothing I am sure

Do not worry about me

It will go away

Yes, I am tired
No, I have not called my doctor
Ok if you say so
but I am sure I am fine
I will make an appointment
and get some antibiotics
I am sure it is nothing
Do not worry about me
It will go away

The doctor did tests
I am still waiting to hear

but no news is good news
I am sure it is nothing
Do not worry about me
It
It
It is what?
I have what?
Oh God, I have cancer
I did not think
it was that big of a deal
there are few warning signs
and now it has spread
They say I need surgery
I am sure I will be fine
You want to come with me?
I appreciate that
Do not worry about me
They will make it go away

Surgery went well
They did what they could
Just to be safe though
To chemo I go
Six rounds of drugs
that make me feel worse
I am losing my hair
I have lost so much weight
I am so tired
My stomach muscles hurt
from throwing up
There are days I do not want to move
I want to stay in bed
Please be my friend
And make me get up
Lend me your strength
to fight while I can
Before it’s too late
Do not worry about me
It will go away

My hair is growing back
The cancer has gone
I am beginning to eat
I can sleep at night now
My fear is still with me
for cancer can return
I am happy to be here
but I am not sure I could fight again
even though you were with me
my dearest dearest friend.
Do not worry about me
Let God take me away

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “The C Word

    • Matt was there when I found a lump and was with me at the drs office the next day. Fortunately, it wasn’t what I was afraid it was and I had a mammogram just to be sure. I feel like if anyone DESERVED to have cancer, it would be me. I mean….look at everything else going on in my life right now. I must have done something wrong somewhere.

      Like

Don't just sit there -- talk to me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s