Medication might be a good thing

The other day Matt and I went for a walk.

He starts pushing the stroller uphill.

ME: Are you ok?

Him: Yeah, why?

ME: Cause you’re old?

He looks at me sideways.

ME: Cause you have a gimpy leg? Cause of the emphysema?

Him: I’m FINE.

(At the top of the hill)

Him: Here. (giving me stroller) Think you can handle it?

Me: I don’t know. I’m old. (slight pause) I have a gimpy leg..

Him: Don’t say it.

(Five minutes later.)

Me: Whew! I’m tired!

Him: (looking at the sun, blue sky…) We’re not dead yet.

Me: (panting) Give me a minute.

Him: (laughing)

As we walk up the road I notice (for the first time) a large yellow circle painted in the middle of the road.

Me: What’s the circle for? Is that where the parachutes land?

(He looks at me sideways.)

Me: Yeah, cause they wouldn’t pick one of these big open fields, they’d have to do it in the middle of the road. To show off.

(Two minutes later, every step I take I wince in pain, and to be sure he doesn’t miss it I say “ow”)

Me: “Ow.” “Ow.” “Ow.” “Ow.” “Ow.”

Him: Stop whining.

Me: (whining loudly) But it hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrts!

He glares.

Me: It huuuuuuuuuuuuuurts-ah!

Him: Can you stop talking now?

(Five minutes later I see a VERY LARGE Squirrel galump across the road (it was HUGE), crash into the underbrush and THUD into a tree. HUGE I tell ya.)

Me: That was the biggest squirrel I’ve ever seen.

(He rolls his eyes.)

Me: Seriously. Back home the squirrels are small, cute and dainty. Most of the time you don’t hear them running around. That one was like STOMP, CRASH, THUD.

Him: What kind of pattern do squirrels run in?

Me: I don’t know. I didn’t take guitar lessons.

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8 thoughts on “Medication might be a good thing

  1. Hahaha! I can totally imagine you two walking and suddenly seeing a huge squirrel. I bet it was fascinating and scary at the same time! Don’t worry, I’d believe you if you said that it was the biggest squirrel you’ve ever seen. Squirrels can be weird little creatures you know…

    I like the way you wrote it! Just like a piece from a book.

    Have a lovely weekend, hopefully squirrel free….

    Ciaoo Xoxoxo

    Like

      • Hello!! I have been so busy and very tired because of it. But I got a few commissions out of the way, so time to reorganize my head again. Yes. I need to reorganize my head…

        Hehe.

        I need to post something new too, but need to finish a few Xmas designs first ^_^

        Like

  2. Because I love you? I retweeted you! But had not had a chance to comment till now. Sweet Mary Martha! The though of you stomping out Bigfoot sized squirrels brings tears of laughter to my bloodshot eyes! I am off scoop poop. It’s great medicine when used in the correct dosages! HEE HEE!!!

    Like

    • I didn’t mention the humongous pterodactyl sized birds that can swoop down and carry off coyotes and mountain lions. Probably. I heard a crash in the trees out back, then this gigantic bird flew over us. I was afraid to talk because it would either fly away so I wouldn’t get to see it or because it would come eat me (you decide), but it didn’t change it’s course. HUMONGOUS BIRD!!

      Like

Don't just sit there -- talk to me!

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