When Bananas Attack

Because I can’t think of anything to write am very busy I’m compiling some of my FB and Twitter statuses for your weekend enjoyment purposes.

Set my cell phone to “airplane mode” and threw it in the air. Worst. Transformer. Ever.

either Facebook is lagging or I just had a stroke.

Okay…is it bad when the Space Center messages you back to console you?

Filling out apps: Last name, first name, preferred name…had to fight the urge to put “Your Highness”.

Wishing I had enough money for a lesbian haircut and a tattoo.

This vase makes me happy. 🙂

Okay, I’m never going to figure this damn thing out. Apologies to the four people who read my blog.

With regard to customer service. I like the name of wordpress.com’s “Happiness Engineers.”

Customer service everywhere SUCKS…I think it’s a law.

How can I possibly think when I keep getting email? Perhaps the answer lies in having an email service that doesn’t yell, “YAY!” when a new message hits the inbox. :/

I’m thinking sprinkling sauteed onions with onion powder may be overkill. **won’t get kissed tonight**

Just saw the headline “How to give the perfect wedding toast” and I’m thinking, “Toast? Who has toast at their wedding??” oy vey

So I’m sitting here minding my own business and Abby has her arm tangled in my bra strap. The hell–??

You know you need to get out more when you catch yourself singing Hannah Montana songs. ON PURPOSE.

Opened freezer looking for dinner. Attacked by falling bananas and frozen bacon. Send ice cream and a microwave.

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5 thoughts on “When Bananas Attack

  1. I have clippers and can help with that female UPS driver look you want.
    I also believe toast is a terrible wedding gift though you may get away with a toaster at the shower.
    Finally we must be sharing the same freezer by means of some crazy wormhole in space-time because damn if those frozen bananas didn’t fall on my foot too. Honestly am I just lying to myself thinking I will eventually need seven blackened frozen bananas?

    Like

    • OMG. Now that you’ve mentioned it I’ve never seen a UPS driver with long hair. Hahahahaha.

      If you bring toast to my wedding I will totally understand.

      And, Cucch? The bananas weren’t frozen. The bacon was. The bananas were on top of the fridge and jumped on me when I opened the door. They’re like gnomes. Sneaky, sneaky gnomes. 🙂

      Like

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