Train to Senile boarding in five minutes!

IM chat with son:

Me: What is “Zwilf?”

Kegan: It’s a magical number right after infinity.

Me: You mean like sparkly unicorns?

Kegan: ?! Are unicorns numbers?

Me: Sure, they’re the magical sparkly number right after “Zwilf.”

Kegan: If I keep having conversations that don’t make sense people will think I’m insane.

And I won’t know when you go senile.

Me: I can’t go senile unless you buy me a ticket.

Kegan: OMG

 

THIS WEEK’S QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

I never put Americans in my hot chocolate.

Farewell, Atlantis

I’m sitting here in the predawn quiet looking at the shuttle Atlantis. She has just landed after her final journey of 5,284,862 miles,Ā having hurled herself at the world while most of America slept. Fifty-five thousand of us watched her as she pushed her way back into our atmosphere, hurtled toward Florida, flew lower and was picked up by infrared cameras at Kennedy Space Center. Continue reading

The Angst of Farming

Well, all right. I’m not a farmer and what we’re doing isn’t on the whole “running a farm” level. But still.

If we lived in a commune where if you don’t kill it you don’t eat, I’d starve to death. (I ain’t strangling no chicken!) Grow your own food? I’m not spreadingĀ manureĀ around! (Ew! Do you know what that IS???) For those very reasons I always said if the end of the world came I’d be in a cave with cases of bottled water and Snickers. (They handle your hunger so you can handle anything!)Ā  Continue reading