The Angst of Farming

Well, all right. I’m not a farmer and what we’re doing isn’t on the whole “running a farm” level. But still.

If we lived in a commune where if you don’t kill it you don’t eat, I’d starve to death. (I ain’t strangling no chicken!) Grow your own food? I’m not spreading manure around! (Ew! Do you know what that IS???) For those very reasons I always said if the end of the world came I’d be in a cave with cases of bottled water and Snickers. (They handle your hunger so you can handle anything!

It’s not that I’m against farming or farmers (Hello, farmers!). I’m just too…squeamish…do handle things like that. I freely admit it. I can’t kill animals to eat. I’m not against it. I’m just very comfortable knowing my meat comes strapped to styrofoam slabs from my local supermarket. I just can’t personally do that. You all go ahead. I’ll wait here. With a bun… and a plate. I may even ask for seconds. Just do NOT make me kill it.

I’m not against growing your own food. I’m not against growing food to sell to markets. I AM against spreading something’s uh…waste products all over my food to get it to grow. Again, I’m happy knowing my produce/fruit/veggies come from a display case at my local market. I don’t want to know what happened to it before then. I’m comfortable in my delusions.

Having said that, we’ve been trying to grow some things here at our house. Abigail and I tried tomatoes this spring. We started from seeds and grew them indoors. They sprouted and Matt and I got all excited. But that was it. They got a couple of inches high and stopped. They didn’t die, they just stopped growing. :/

So I moved them outside in their little pots. I thought maybe they were missing nature and that being in sunlight that didn’t have to come through the window first might help. I thought being near other plants my little sprouts would see that it’s Happy Growing Time and get with the program.

That’s when they died.

Matt bought seeds and planted lettuce, peas and…something else out back. We watered and watered and waited. Absolutely nothing happened. Nothing. Not even sprouts.

Before that I had an herb garden kit. I planted, got one wimpy sprout which later died (because there is no sun in Pennsylvania). My son gave me a Calla Lily plant for Mother’s Day. It died because there was no sun in Pennsylvania. Matt attempted to grow rosemary and nothing happened.

Last week (I think) he decided “one more time” only this time he was just going to “throw seeds in the ground and if they grow they grow.” Preparing, reading, and fussing over them had never worked. So, out front he planted radishes. They’re ALL sprouting.

Then we had canteloupe and he dried the seeds from that and he and Abby dug out the back yard and he planted those. Those are all sprouting.

That picture was from over the weekend. They’re all bigger now and you can see actual ROWS.

We’re not celebrating yet. We’ve had sprouts before. We’re waiting to see if we get any actual plants, and then actual fruit. Veggies. What the hell ARE radishes?

Radishes are vegetables. (I just Googled.) This is now an educational blog.

You’re welcome.

So right now we’re in a wait-and-see period. If these grow we will try other things too. If not, we’ll see you at the supermarket. 🙂


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