He should know better by now.
Last night I told Matt about his favorite performer. She’s coming…not to our town (of course) but to our state (at least) so I wanted to get tickets. She’ll be here at the end of March and there are only like 6 seats left. (None of them together.) I wanted to get tickets before (if we were going) we’d have to sit across the auditorium from one another. I would be alone in a crowd of strangers in a strange place in the dark which means I’d be hiding in the bathroom the whole time and there’s really no need to buy a ticket for me to sit in the bathroom. If I act now we could sit close enough to one another to see and wave hi.
Him: What are they playing?
Me: I don’t know. It didn’t say.
Him: Does she have a newer album than ——— —-?
Me: I have no idea.
Him: Well go to her site.
Me (typing away): Yeah. I did. It doesn’t say.
Him: It must say.
Me: Oh good lord.
The site comes up, I click around, it doesn’t say. Like I said.
Him: Who’s in the band?
Me: How the hell should I know?
Him: (sighing) CLICK ON “BAND.”
The page loads and the band comes up and I read him the four names. He inquires about the last one. I read the info and he says he’s never heard of that guy. I click on another guy to be helpful.
Him: He’s been with her a while.
I click on another name…no big deal. I click on the name he recognized right away.
Him: He’s playing drums now? That’s good he never could sing. (Reading over my shoulder) Oh, he’s still doing vocals. Oops.
I take offense for the “never could sing” remark and read to him that it says he’s been singing since the age of eleven.
Me: Oh look! He is the child of a carpenter and an actress/singer/dancer. (slight pause) Just like Jesus!
Matt rolls his eyes and walks away.
Me: What? (I yell into the next room where he is breaking his Stop Smoking Campaign and is furiously lighting up.) She could have been an actress/singer/dancer. You don’t know!
Him: The VIRGIN MARY???
Me: Times were hard back then. She was a virgin so she wasn’t doing THAT. They were a resourceful people. SHE HAD TO BE DOING SOMETHING WITH HER TIME AND TALENT TO MAKE MONEY FOR HER FAMILY!