My name is Elisa and I can work a credit card.

I have a strong dislike for going out, crowds, and dealing with sales people. So, when possible I “window shop” online. Truth be told, I shop, bargain shop, car shop, house shop, and immerse myself in some “retail therapy” online whenever possible.

I’ve found some great things. Like this:


And this:


And these:


Today I found >insert horror music<


…what I can only describe as a nightmare waiting to happen. Yes, this is a wall sconce. Can you picture several of them lighting your hallway for guests? How about hanging over your fireplace? (In the name of all that is holy, please, do NOT put this in the nursery!)

It reminds me of the tales of vampires eating babies during rituals…or ritual dinners. This is what you do with your left overs. And your mother told you not to play with your food!

I was so incensed I had to show this to my BFF and pretend I wanted some. Because I am just. THAT. Twisted.

Me: This is awesome! I need two!

BFF: No…dear god, no.

Me: Oh come on…can’t you picture them at regularly spaced intervals along your hallway?

BFF: I wouldn’t accept money to hang them up in my house, nevermind BUY one.

Me: But it’s on sale. It’s $239, down from $375. That’s like getting a torso for free!

(slight pause)

You only have to pay an arm and a leg! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BFF: Where’s the loser icon?

Me: Oh come on! That was funny!


4 thoughts on “My name is Elisa and I can work a credit card.

  1. Thank you so very much, but I’m still having nightmares over those sconces. I showed them to Dan. Who promptly said… *I can’t believe I’m going to repeat this*..
    Someone had a bright idea.
    Yeah, I know. I married him.


    • Generally speaking, when you have an idea there’s a lightbulb OVER your head, not, you know, YOUR HEAD.

      Yeah, you married a winner there. 😉


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